A Message For My Notre Dame Family

I have this funny memory from when I was a little kid. 

I’m a middle child, one of three boys, and growing up we were inseparable. We actually had a couple of extra bedrooms in our house, so we could’ve each had our own — but we insisted on not splitting up. Our parents caved and let us squeeze three beds into one room. We’d get into all types of trouble together. We’d build these insane forts, using whatever random objects we could find. We were obsessed with Star Wars, and would constantly be battling with our lightsabers (we got them for Christmas one year). And we’d play a lot of sports, obviously, both with and against each other. 

But this memory isn’t about any of that. It’s about one time, when we dug a hole. 

Haha. 

No, that’s pretty much it. There wasn’t any reason. It wasn’t some project with a goal. One day we were just like, Alright let’s dig a hole. So that’s what we did. The three of us got some shovels, and we started digging … and digging … and digging … and digging. And the hole got pretty deep!!! Like, it was summer and we were three boys in Fairhope, Alabama with nothing to do — that’s basically a full construction crew, you know? We got super into it. And at some point the hole got so deep that we just kind of decided, like……. OK. To be honest. We should dig all the way to China.

After that, it actually was a project with a goal. So we got even more into it, and we dug even deeper, and even wider, and we started to make all these plans for this tunnel system, and—

Yeah. That’s when our mom shut it down. Haha. Which was smart, because we were definitely about to do serious damage to the backyard. And as funny as it is to look back on … I love that memory for real. Because I’ll always remember how real the feeling was — how we really did think we could do it. We really did believe we could get to China, or to anywhere else in the world. Maybe it was the long way, and would take a while. But we’d get there. We’d find it.

We just had to keep digging.

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There’s this famous Theodore Roosevelt quote my grandfather shared with me once. It’s from a speech that Roosevelt gave where he talks about “the man in the arena.” And the idea of it is pretty much, while no one ever wants to come up short, everyone should try like heck to be someone who’s willing to risk coming up short. You should be willing to stumble, and willing to make mistakes. Which can be a tough life. It can come with a lot of criticism and a lot of low moments. But it’s also where greatness comes from. “If he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” That’s the man in the arena.

And for me? That’s being a quarterback. 

All my life … I’ve just always wanted to be a quarterback. There’s always been something about it, you know? The magnitude of the position. The way that it asks you to confront your own shortcomings. The way that it asks you to lead.

And “the man in the arena” was definitely on my mind last year, after our season ended at Duke the way it did and I started thinking about my future. I have so much love in my heart for Duke — they took a chance on me when so many others wouldn’t. When I came into fall camp as a freshman, I was maybe the sixth-string QB, and I remember thinking to myself, like, Dude it would be so cool if I stepped on the field during a game. Then in Week 7, I got in and handed the ball off a few times. No joke, I was celebrating with my family afterwards like I won the Super Bowl. But eventually I got to start a game (I was terrible), then start some more. We went 3–9 my freshman year … and flipped it to 9–4 my sophomore year. It was really cool.

But my junior year, to be honest, was a disappointment. There were some high highs: I started to get a lot of recognition — all of a sudden people were saying I might be a first-round draft pick, or a Heisman dark horse, stuff like that. And as a team, we had one of the biggest wins in school history, beating No. 9 Clemson in a night game at our place. But there were also some low lows: We played Notre Dame in another huge night game, and I hurt my ankle pretty bad and we lost a heartbreaker. Then three games later we lost to Louisville, and I broke my toe, which took me out for the year. It felt like we had a chance for this special season … and it just didn’t happen. And even aside from getting injured, I won’t lie, a lot of that is on me. I don’t know if it’s because of the success I had as a sophomore, and I just wasn’t mature enough to handle it, or what. But I didn’t make the strides I wanted to as a junior.

And I think this is where it’s important for me to talk about my faith. Because my faith is really what’s guided me as a person for a long time — both on the football field and off of it.

I actually didn’t begin going to church until the 9th grade. Growing up, all I ever dreamed of was being a starter for the football and basketball teams at Fairhope High School. Like, I remember my mom would be driving us to school, or I’d be walking into class, and I’d just be day-dreaming about it. And then it happened!! Freshman year, I made varsity for both. And I thought it was the coolest thing in the world……… for about a week??? But then the high from it kind of faded. And I remember that feeling so strongly. I was just like, Man. There’s gotta be more to life than feeling good for a week about making some team. I felt this weird emptiness inside. And that’s when I started to pay attention as all these people in my life were preaching the Bible. Whether it was on a mentor level, like some of my football coaches and pastors in the community, or it was on a personal level, like when I met my girlfriend Molly and she’d bring me to church. Once I started to find my faith, and find a purpose besides just being an athlete, I feel like the world kind of opened up for me. And I ran with it.

I started diving into the Bible, and learning all these valuable lessons. One of the biggest lessons was how nobody is greater than anybody. Which maybe sounds obvious, but life sometimes puts us in positions where it’s easy to ignore what’s obvious. Being a starting quarterback is definitely one of those positions. I think just the way that you get treated as QB1, and the expectations that get placed on you, it’s tempting to put yourself above other people. It’s tempting to start to think that you’re somebody. But you’re not. One of my favorite Bible verses, Matthew 23:12, it says: “Those who exalt themselves or praise themselves will be humbled, but those who humble themselves will be praised.” I wear those words on my wrist every game.

And I think the way my junior year at Duke went, just with how I felt like I responded to the attention and expectations, and getting injured, it had me questioning things. I was like, Why this?? Why now?? And then I really started to ask myself: How can I reach my full potential — both as a football player and as a person of faith? And I didn’t necessarily know if the answer was to stay at Duke. 

For me, though, the idea of the transfer portal was very hard. I like to think of myself as a loyal person. And I had so many good relationships at Duke, to where I felt like I was kind of betraying them a bit by leaving. So it was definitely a struggle for me during that moment. But I also knew if I was going to leave through the portal, I wanted to do it as fast as possible, and in the most high-integrity way I could.

A little while later, Notre Dame reached out. 

And I’ll tell you the truth about that — even as someone who grew up in Alabama: When you get a text as a football player, and it says “Notre Dame” on it?

Man……. It just hits different.

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One thing I love about Notre Dame is that, for as special of a football program as it is, the feelings that led me there weren’t really about football at all. Like I’ll never forget my first official visit. I’m not gonna sit here and type out a bunch of words about how I was blown away by the elite facilities or the elite coaches or the elite players … because once you get to a certain level, everybody has those. What sold me on Notre Dame was when I went to dinner with some of the guys on the team, at this steakhouse downtown — and if we talked about football even once, I can’t remember it. Actually, no, there was one time it came up: Howard Cross was there!!! He’s the guy who landed on my ankle last year, so that was a funny moment. We just laughed about it, and I told him he’d better pay for my steak. But other than that?? I swear, we just talked about life. We talked about our upbringings. About our faith and our spiritual growth. About dealing with how people think they know you, just based off of two hours on a Saturday. 

And while it probably isn’t a topic you’d imagine coming up at a table of football players, we actually spent a lot of that dinner talking about Star Wars. I think guys were bringing up different movies they liked, and someone mentioned a Star Wars movie, and kind of gave this look like he expected everyone at the table to laugh at him. But then someone else was like “yeah I loved that,” and then more guys started jumping on board with how much they love Star Wars. Pretty soon we’re talking about Clone Wars, Chewbacca action figures, how me and my brothers were storm troopers for Halloween one year — I’m nerding out, you know?? It was so fun. Brotherhood means a lot to me … and it’s exactly what I felt in that room.

But even with as good as I felt about choosing Notre Dame, I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the way my career started here.

I had three surgeries last off-season, two on my ankle and one on my toe. So I completely missed spring ball. And that was tough on me, because as a transfer I’m itching to prove myself. Then I get healthy, and it’s so crazy: Our first game of the year, it’s against Texas A&M … and they’re coached by Mike Elko, who just got there after being my head coach at Duke. So it’s this huge game on a bunch of different levels — the biggest one of course being that we needed it for our season. And we got it! Notre Dame has struggled in that spot over the last few years, losing an early big game on the schedule. Ohio State twice, then Cincinnati before that. So I think this one meant a lot to the program. And for me personally it was such a relief, just to come in and show I could play. To wear that jersey and feel I belonged in it.

But then you win a game like that, and I don’t know. I think along with that relief can be this feeling like you’re on your high horse, right? Where you kind of forget how thin that line is between winning and losing, and you almost take it for granted. And it’s not like you’re being lazy — anyone who knows me knows that’s never happening — but maybe that next week, heading into a game where you’re big favorites, you’re not quite focusing the same on the details. Maybe you’re coasting a bit on those final preparations, without even realizing it. Then add to that, it was my first home game at Notre Dame Stadium … first time on the Player Walk … first time with rows and rows of Irish fans cheering me on. And I think I was a little overwhelmed by it all, and wasn’t totally sure how to handle it. You only get one chance to make a first impression, you know?

And my first impression was: I played the worst game of my whole life.

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We lost to NIU, and it was completely my fault. Like, that’s not me “taking the blame” or anything. That’s just kind of a fact. And after the game, it’s hard to even describe how bad I felt. For myself, I guess, but more than that for my teammates and for the school. I just felt like they’d let me be a part of this special thing here, and I was reckless with it. I felt like I let a lot of people down.

I remember after the game ended, I went up to one of the local policemen at the stadium and was like, “Dude, is there any chance that you can just … drive me to my apartment?” That’s how embarrassed I was in that moment — I didn’t want to show my face outside the building. He was nice enough to say yes, and when I got home I just remember my heart racing so fast. I tried to go to sleep, but there was no chance. So instead I stayed up for hours, playing the game over in my head. I was like, Please just let me go to sleep, then wake up and have this all be a nightmare. But morning came, and it was still real. 

On Sunday I met with Coach Freeman in his office, and I told him how terrible I felt and how the loss was on me. The cool thing about Coach is that you can tell he believes his job isn’t only to make the program better, but also to make us better people. And when he talks to you, you don’t feel like he’s talking down as an authority figure or anything. It’s almost a teammate relationship — which to be honest I don’t think a lot of coaches could pull off. But that’s how Coach Freeman earns your respect. He makes you feel like you’re not playing for him, you’re playing with him.

So anyway, I walk into Coach’s office on that Sunday after NIU, and I’m telling him how bad I feel, how sorry I am, all of that. And he just laughs. You know how someone can laugh during a low moment, but it’s not in a bad way — it’s in this confident way, almost like they know the future? That was Coach Freeman. He was just like, “Riley, I’m telling you. One day you’re gonna be thankful for this.” In my head I’m thinking, Bro … there’s zero chance I'm EVER gonna be thankful for this. But even though I didn’t believe him when he said it, the way he said it was still so comforting to me. He was just so calm and assured.

Then I went to class on Monday, and this was September so it was really hot out, like over 80. But I had on all black: black sweats, black hoodie. I felt like I was a guest at my own funeral. And I think everyone could tell how bad I felt, you know? So a lot of good people reached out to me that week, and I’m very grateful. Tyler Buchner hit me up pretty much right away, and we got dinner one night. He talked me through all of it, and just helped give some much needed perspective on everything. Also that same week, Sam Hartman — who beat us at Duke when he was here and is on the Commanders now — called. And he gave me incredible advice, just from stuff he’s learned over the course of his career. He was like, “Dude, trust me. Play your game. No regrets.”

And then I’ll never forget walking into the facility, ahead of our first practice after NIU. I’m doing this slow walk, my head down, real emo. And everyone’s in the locker room, kind of sitting around. And a couple of our younger players … they just called me out. They told me I was being hypocritical. How I’m the guy who always talks about having this unwavering faith. And they were like, “You say you’re a man of faith. OK. Well, we have faith in you. We trust in you. We believe in you to be our quarterback. But you better start believing in yourself.” And that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like — they weren’t even talking about how I played. They weren’t even saying I let them down against NIU. They were saying I was letting them down right now, in the locker room, just by not being a leader. 

Man … after that, I was so ready to get out there for practice. And I ended up having one of the best practice weeks I’d had in a long time — and it carried over right into Purdue, where we played really well. And I just think from that point forward, we’ve all been on the same page. It’s like, Yeah, NIU beat us. That’s true. We own that. Maybe anybody can beat us. But we also know we can beat anybody. And in a weird way, after NIU, we didn’t have to worry about “making the Playoff.” Because we were kind of already in our own playoff. We knew we couldn’t afford another loss, and we had to win out.

So that’s what we did: We won out. 10 games in a row. Which is such a credit to the guys on this team, and the people in this program, and I don’t want to start shouting anyone out because honestly it’s everyone. Up and down the roster, front to back. That’s who’s responsible for this season. We’ve got a defense that doesn’t quit, and bails me out of my mistakes every time. We’ve got an O-line that’s been unreal, guys stepping up all season. We’ve got so much toughness in our backfield, in our receiver room … truly, everywhere on the field. I’m so honored to play with these guys. And I’m so proud of what we’ve accomplished. It’s like I was saying earlier, about “the man in the arena.” This team? It’s all men in the arena. It’s a group of people who failed as publicly as you can fail, and faced as much criticism as you can face, and had as low of a moment as you can have — but still went out there, every week, and risked doing it again. 

That’s confronting your own shortcomings. That’s leadership.

And that, to me, more than anything else, is what this football team is about.

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As the Playoff has gotten closer, I’ve been thinking more of that memory from way back — of being in the backyard with my brothers and us digging that hole. It’s probably a little silly, and not a perfect comparison to what this Notre Dame season has been like. But I think of the path we took to get to where we are right now, the amazing spot we’re in, with a chance to play for a national championship. And I think of how there were so many paths we could have taken … and how we took the hardest, messiest, craziest path by far. Sometimes I look back on the season we’ve had and it’s like…… You know there were normal ways to do that, right??? You can actually just fly to China. There are a lot easier ways than digging to get to the other side of the world.

But I wouldn’t trade our way for any of them. Not just because it’s the path that got us here … but because of how much I’ve learned about myself while taking it. And because of how meaningful it’s been to get to go on this journey together. As a team, as a school, and especially as a Notre Dame family — which is a bigger, stronger family than I could have ever imagined.

So we’ll see what happens on Friday night … and then hopefully over these next few weeks. The odds are probably against us winning this Playoff. That’s fine. The odds have been against us for months now. But we’re done being afraid of anything — I know that much about this team. I know that, win or lose, we’re going to do it our way: We’re going to dare greatly. And maybe we’ll stumble again. Maybe we’ll come up short. But as long as our season is still alive, I can promise you, we’re going to try like heck to achieve greatness. If it’s there on that football field, we’ll find it.

We just have to keep digging.

—Riley